Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

Did you hear those crickets? Loud, eh?

Where have I been?

The last few weeks have been tough for me. The good news is that I've been eating 4HB compliant meals. But, I've been allowing myself lots of forbidden treats.

Like, yesterday, as I made my 3yo son's lunch and put a cookie on his plate, I shoved a cookie into my own mouth. I'm almost back to my full complement of daily Diet Pepsi (1-2L per day) and slacking on the water. I bought and ate a chocolate bar (it WAS German milk chocolate, so you can imagine how hard it was for me to resist long enough to get that bad boy home!) this afternoon from a specialty store where I pick up my prepared meats at. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

But, breakfast is a spinach omelette and beans every morning, salad with chickpeas and some meat for lunch and a dinner of meat and beans and veggies every night. Tonight, for instance, was some yummy German wieners (that's what happens when you go shopping with a 3 year old and a 7 year old), broad beans, lima beans, peas and sauerkraut (not fresh). I so totally rock the meal making!

And, even though I have been nibbling at crap here and there, I've been losing 1 or 2 pounds a week. That's better than gaining, right? Of course, I know that if I could keep my hands out of the metaphorical cookie jar (and got off my arse to do just a couple of 5 minute workouts a week, I mean, really! Who can't do that?! Me, I guess.) I could be losing 5-10 pounds a week.

So, why the frak am I sabotaging my progress? Is a danish here, a bottle of diet soda there and cookies at random times every day or two really worth it?

I know the answer to that, but it seems to make no difference. First I was menstruating. And then I was lonely when my husband was away for a week and I was getting worn down by the boys. Then I was celebrating having my husband home. After that I was just plain depressed. And there were a bunch of times when I was stressed. Then I was having a root canal.

The excuses never end. I spent nearly 20 years as a smoker, so it used to be that when I hit a situation that stressed me out I would have a cigarette. I can still feel that little kick I'd get after lighting up: a kind of tingle goes through the body as the heartrate accelerates and a momentary lightheadedness gives the body a feeling of tension release. Food is a very poor substitute for that feeling, but seemingly better than tobacco.

I have to find a different reward/indulgence/crutch. And it's got to be non-food. Maybe tea? Do I need to buy more white and green teas? Maybe it'll become exercise as my body starts to crave the endorphins when I rip off 50 kettlebell swings after the kids start driving me around the bend. That would be awesome, eh?

How do you deal with stress? What's your magic treat to soothe the inner whiny pants? When you start dreaming of the creamy sweetness of chocolate, what do you do to keep the beast tamed?


  1. Wonderful, insightful post. Wish it was easy but it's not. However 1-2 lbs lost beats the crap out of gaining. Baby steps. Keep your chin up.
    A fellow 4HB person

  2. Don't get too down on yourself. Most people who have made a big lifestyle change will admit that they did it by moving one step at a time. And a lot of people who fail to keep their resolutions just try to do too much at once or beat themselves up for not being perfect right away. The fact that you've eaten the right meals every day so far is a huge huge step, it means that you've established that as a habit for a couple of weeks, and all the things that are necessary to support that habit are going to start happening effortlessly (getting enough eggs and spinach at the market for instance). Now that you've got that locked down you can focus on another aspect of the diet (getting your workouts in, being consistent with your supplementation, cutting out snacks) and just keep working through it. Writing up an honest post like this is also a big step.

    As for stress, I definitely recommend the kettlebells ;-)

  3. I recommend putting together a soothing ritual for when you're stressed. I'm the same as you -- when I need to treat myself or celebrate or just wallow, I go for the chocolate and the carbs and the booze! But instead of that, I've tried to train myself to slow down, take a couple of breaths, and do something that's going to be sustainably de-stress-ifying. For instance, I make a cup of tea, and really enjoy the process. Or I wash my face and use some nice treatments/moisturizers and treat it like a spa facial. Or I take an extra minute or two to exfoliate and moisturize in the shower, and I take lots of deep breaths all the while...and it only takes a few minutes! I know you have boys to take care of, but hopefully these little rituals will be soothing to you too :)