Did you hear those crickets? Loud, eh?
Where have I been?
The last few weeks have been tough for me. The good news is that I've been eating 4HB compliant meals. But, I've been allowing myself lots of forbidden treats.
Like, yesterday, as I made my 3yo son's lunch and put a cookie on his plate, I shoved a cookie into my own mouth. I'm almost back to my full complement of daily Diet Pepsi (1-2L per day) and slacking on the water. I bought and ate a chocolate bar (it WAS German milk chocolate, so you can imagine how hard it was for me to resist long enough to get that bad boy home!) this afternoon from a specialty store where I pick up my prepared meats at. Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
But, breakfast is a spinach omelette and beans every morning, salad with chickpeas and some meat for lunch and a dinner of meat and beans and veggies every night. Tonight, for instance, was some yummy German wieners (that's what happens when you go shopping with a 3 year old and a 7 year old), broad beans, lima beans, peas and sauerkraut (not fresh). I so totally rock the meal making!
And, even though I have been nibbling at crap here and there, I've been losing 1 or 2 pounds a week. That's better than gaining, right? Of course, I know that if I could keep my hands out of the metaphorical cookie jar (and got off my arse to do just a couple of 5 minute workouts a week, I mean, really! Who can't do that?! Me, I guess.) I could be losing 5-10 pounds a week.
So, why the frak am I sabotaging my progress? Is a danish here, a bottle of diet soda there and cookies at random times every day or two really worth it?
I know the answer to that, but it seems to make no difference. First I was menstruating. And then I was lonely when my husband was away for a week and I was getting worn down by the boys. Then I was celebrating having my husband home. After that I was just plain depressed. And there were a bunch of times when I was stressed. Then I was having a root canal.
The excuses never end. I spent nearly 20 years as a smoker, so it used to be that when I hit a situation that stressed me out I would have a cigarette. I can still feel that little kick I'd get after lighting up: a kind of tingle goes through the body as the heartrate accelerates and a momentary lightheadedness gives the body a feeling of tension release. Food is a very poor substitute for that feeling, but seemingly better than tobacco.
I have to find a different reward/indulgence/crutch. And it's got to be non-food. Maybe tea? Do I need to buy more white and green teas? Maybe it'll become exercise as my body starts to crave the endorphins when I rip off 50 kettlebell swings after the kids start driving me around the bend. That would be awesome, eh?
How do you deal with stress? What's your magic treat to soothe the inner whiny pants? When you start dreaming of the creamy sweetness of chocolate, what do you do to keep the beast tamed?